To All Women Who Have Suffered
By Karen Justice-Guard

"This is how we know we are alive: hope fills our mind and love fills our hearts. The gifts we can offer others is as simple a thing as hope. We must tell about our hope for the future, but we must not just speak of hope, we must put our hope into action. Most of all we need to become hope -- not just for ourselves and our children -- but for those who still suffer. In my hope, I founded Safe Havens. I always ask God to help me to share my hope freely. When I get stuck, I'll first reach for the hope within me. If I see someone who is stuck, I will share my hope with that person.

I hope you will learn to believe and trust in the hope within yourself. I know what it's like growing up around alcohol and addiction and abuse and having it myself. You lose hope and trust. This is what happened during my illness. My spirit was dying, my children's spirits were dying, my relationships were dying, my self-esteem was dying, my love of beauty was dying. This was because addiction is death and recovery is life.

The Twelve-Step program breathes life into us. People who understand breathe life into us. We start to heal because we once again feel hope. We're less afraid of what tomorrow may bring us. As our hope grows, so will our trust, then others feel it too. Let's start to slowly rebuild our world on hope.

Sometimes this is why helping others is so important. It teaches us that we need others and that others need us. There is no give and take in addiction or abuse, there is just "take." Now, we finally can give "to."

I know what it's like to be loved or liked for what people think we are or what we have. I have learned from my true friends by their honesty. Sometimes, they can see what I can't. Sometimes life is unbalanced. God helps me to know that I am here to help others, not just myself. Through others I find myself.

Like a tree, our lives depend on new growth, but our spiritual wellbeing needs to invent new ideas into our lives. We need to stay open to change, that we keep our spiritual lives fresh and growing. That's how I'm staying happy. I don't look at honesty as an enemy, but as a friend. Honesty builds trust, trust will block off fear, and then safety will appear.

All of my twenties and part of my thirties I abused my heart, my mind, my body, my soul and all of my dreams. I pray that I may love all parts of life that follows me. Love is my friend to teach me respect. Love is truth with kindness. Love is being willing to forgive and help others. And most of all, love is thinking about how God wants me to be. What does love do best? It teaches me to be a good human being. I have surrendered my will and my life over to love.

So many years I turned my heart inside out and left it lying in anyone's hands. Love made me mad. Love made me sad. Love made me strong. Love made me lie. Love made me laugh. And love made my trust start to die, and I felt my heart start to cry. I became imprisoned, drifting in time. Every step that I took made me defend, pretend. I could never be wrong. I would swallow what pride I had left inside. Then I felt my heart start to tremble.

My journey was very long and I forgot who I was. But when I reached the end of my road, I stopped and new I needed to love myself. I never knew that I had so much love. I can finally let the sunlight in to start again. So I spread my wings to fly, touched by Spirit, so safe and sheltered, which holds all of my dreams once again. Yes! I can still believe in love -- my love. Love has opened up my heart to reclaim the heavens to my inner self, carrying all my treasures back into my soul. 'When I need love, I hold out my hands and I touch love... "

I must look inside myself to free myself. I must call on God's power to face the person I feared the most -- the true Me -- the person God created me to be. Unless I can or until I do, I will always be running and never be truly free. I ask God daily to show me such a freedom.

"Love is the source of unity and today is my reality."

With love and hope for a better tomorrow,

Your sister Karen